I’m a lifelong atheist, but I’ve always been fascinated by stories from the bible. There’s just one problem: it’s impossible to read the damn thing. The only way I can get through it is by reading it slowly and carefully while translating it into words I can understand. So that’s what this site is all about. And if I can make people laugh along the way, so much the better. I love hearing feedback, so please feel free to leave comments!

It will never be my intention to disrespect anyone’s faith. I will not use words like “xians” because it’s rude and, well, that’s not how you spell it. I will not mock anyone’s religion. I will, however, mock the bible. Fair warning.

I will be using the English Standard Version of the bible from Bible Gateway. It seems to be the easiest to read.